Martian Sandy®

I am a man and the soon to be father of a boy. When I look at the world, and its discussions, I am forced to think about what I should teach my future son about his position in society. Some things seem incredibly clear in my eyes, like treating other people with respect, because this will make his position easier. Through respect people will be willing to collaborate with or help him if necessary. 

Yet other things seem more challenging, especially the question of how other people will look and expect from him. He will be born a man and this comes with cultural expectations. He might be expected to like certain hobbies/sports, games, drink beer, eat meat, selflessly contribute to a goal and maintain traditions or to be able to provide for his family. Whatever group the man is seen as belonging to, he will consequently be asked or pressured to participate in one of these activities by his perceived peers. And of course, being included feels nice and safe. It's not something you would let go of easily.

However in some instances, I would deem it necessary to let some of the bindings to your group go. Because some things men are expected to do can lead to others being hurt. The main thing in that regard is through the belief that you need to uphold the traditional family with the man as the head, because some people say everyone would be happier in their supposedly original (and 'biological') role. And maybe men and women do indeed sometimes gravitate towards certain abilities and behavior. But society changes and people want more freedom to choose their own paths in life, which leads to changing roles for all involved. The right reaction to this is not trying to violently uphold roles, but to think about whom to listen to and ask what is right.

Would you really feel happy as a man when you won't let women decide their own fates? Are you ready to let others decide for you what to do, to not be independent? Can you challenge yourself with what kind of man you want to be? While answering these questions you should not be afraid of breaking free from any form peers pressure, and maybe just decide you can be a strong caring man that collaborates with his wife or husband and also makes time for his own independent projects like art/practical hobbies or projects contributing to society.

Challenge yourself, choose wisely and independently.