Martian Sandy®

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Who sets your priorities?

 

You might ask: "My household or work priorities?"

 

No, your public priorities. Those priorities that you set when commenting on national politics, or when thinking about the culture of your group. And regarding the latter, especially the cultural ones that directly form priorities for your household weekly/monthly/yearly.

 

Is that vague?

 

Yes, it certainly is. That's because we don't always understand who sets out priorities. And knowone sets priorities completely by themselves or makes decisions without any outside influence.

 

Why is that, you might ask?

 

For the simple process of being born in a family surrounded by friends and others that form a sort of community which, even after conscious attempts to break free from physical or mental rules that may or may not be too constraining, form a lasting experience both inspiring and debilitating.

 

We all know that and agree on that. Those experiences guide towards the priorities we set in the rest of our lives: some go to a mandir once a week, others might prefer spending that time doing voluntary work or relaxing at home. Both groups might give priority to their mental health, but find it through different means. However one of the groups might claim that by exercising their activity, they even prioritize morally good work over their own self interest (their mental health). That work is for example helping others, either by showing or doing. And as every activity is a choice, it is also a comparison with what you rather would (want) or should (according to you or others) be doing with your time. In that way, you prioritize one thing over the other. 

 

You choose.

 

Maybe with a little help 

 

But what if your priorities clash with those of others? If there isn't enough money to spend by the community or government, or if you think the priorities of others are worthless (or vice versa)? In those situations, how do you make a decision that will benefit you and make the result long lasting without retaliation by others?

 

There are multiple ways to achieve this. None of them are easy. The smart and possibly most beneficial way, short term, is to align with the priorities of your community. It's something you know, with familiar expectations and familiar daily lives of other community members. The choice is comfortable, because all choices are familiar. And most importantly you would expect the others or leaders in your community to also work towards improving your lives. This is because your priorities align.

 

Seemingly.

 

Because are you sure that your priorities align with your fellow community leaders and/or members? Do they have similar life worlds like you, similar power like you or similar wealth? 

 

The easy answer here would be that you know their life worlds, their convictions and allegiances. And challenging your views regarding these matters can cause discomfort for yourself, because you would need to let go.

 

But does this really lead to less discomfort than when outsiders challenge your priorities? Because I think that really depends on whether your position in a group or society would be better, or worse, when you would try to align yourself with others that have a similar position in their own communities.

 

But: how to make these new friends without losing old ones?